To live through God.
I have always tried to live by this; however, sometimes life challenges and emotions become my number one focus leaving my relationship with God on the back burner.
An on going life challenge that has been a struggle for me is forgiving people.
When people do not treat me the way I feel I am worthy of being treated or do not respect me the way I want, hurt feelings and resentment towards that person forms. It is even harder to forgive someone who repeats their actions. For years I have been torn between cutting people out of my life because who needs people like that in their life if they are just going to continue to hurt them? But I also consider my relationship with God. I am a terrible sinner, and without God’s forgiveness, I would not be where I am today. I am going to continue to sin everyday, and hurt God, just like others do to us, and He will continue to forgive us.
I don’t know about you, but sinning is a horrible feeling to me. Although I know I am going to be forgiven if asked, it still does not sit right with me to not give my Savior my best. Why should we not be that way with everyone else? Why should we care so much about pleasing God, and not each other? Maybe there is someone in your life that you hurt, disrespect, or do not have the best actions towards. Maybe there is someone who is having troubles forgiving you just like you may be having troubles forgiving someone else. Maybe the person that has been doing you dirty, you’ve been doing the same thing to them.
To the person I owe forgiveness to:
In your time of need, I wasn’t what you needed.
During your own pity party, I was absent.
When you invited me towards your potential accomplishments, I missed the calls.
As you needed help, I drove far, far away.
While you were crying, I was smiling.
I wasn’t there for you, just like you weren’t there for me.
All the hours and days you spent with me seem so very distant now because you’re not even there nowadays.
Rekindling a relationship takes more than just money here and there.
It takes more than supporting my success, but not my failures.
It takes more than words, it takes actions.
It takes bigger steps than that.
So heres my steps, and I hope you can follow my footprints.
Although you never apologized, I forgive you.
I forgive your disappointment.
I forgive your absence.
I forgive the embarrassment you’ve caused.
I also apologize for not being the bigger person when you couldn’t be.
I realize the same thing you have done to me, I have done to you.
I realize the person that keeps treating me unfairly, is the person I am treating unfairly.
I’m sorry for being the person, I didn’t want you to be.
How can I expect you to be perfect when I wasn’t perfect myself?
Forgiving you might just be the thing I need to forgive others because you are the main source of my skepticism. Forgiving you might just be the thing I need to grow, and the thing for you to grow.
Forgiving you will be the restoration of God being my number one, and wellness to my soul.
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ~Colossians 3:13